


fighting between a rock and why bother

by spacemanrhys



Category: Stellar Firma (Podcast)
Genre: Coming Out, Food Fight, Friendship, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nonbinary David, Sad with a Happy Ending, Theyvid 7, Trans Trexel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29948553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacemanrhys/pseuds/spacemanrhys
Summary: (This fic is set in the gap between S2 and S3)David wants to try using they/them pronouns. Trexel is Trexel.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 31





	fighting between a rock and why bother

“How? How is this working?”  
“David, shut up! I need to concentrate! Also, fun fact, the vent walls are quite thin and we are technically fugitives now, so you’re probably going to want to keep your voice down.”  
“That’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said. Potentially the only smart thing you’ve ever said.”  
David hears an offended gasp and something hits his shoulder. He assumes Trexel made an attempt to glare at him before realising that when you’re back to back, arms linked and feet planted on either side of the wall as you climb vertically up a Board-approved chute, you may not want to make as many irrational moves as usual. Trexel settles for a huff and steps yet another foot up, making sure to do so loudly enough that David follows in sync.

They climb in silence for the next five minutes or so, as every few feet they encounter a grate with a glimpse into the adjoining room. David doesn’t like what he sees, and though he’s certain Trexel has seen if not caused a lot of horrible things already, Trexel’s uncharacteristic silence speaks volumes. 

David notes, with some sadness, that this qualifies as a nice peaceful moment for him. Balanced around 26.4 feet above the filing room, back to back with a genocidal maniac, in a situation where if one of them lost concentration for even a moment they could slip and fall down, down, into the endless pits of letters. David doesn’t know how letters work in this much abundance, but the IMOGEN research holes he’s fallen down have caused him to know far too much about grain entrapment to want to find out. 

They’re getting into a routine now. He can feel the muscles in Trexel’s back shift every time he goes to take a step and for once he simply follows Trexel’s lead. His mind is otherwise occupied. 

There’s something he’s been meaning to… ask Trexel? Talk to Trexel about? Demand of Trexel? And he’s scared. And for the first time he’s not sure why. Life on Stellar Firma is confusing and there’s so much he doesn’t know and with every new thing he discovers about himself the more scared he feels.

Oddly enough, Trexel calms him in that way. Trexel is possibly the most flawed being on Stellar Firma, and if he’s still allowed to stay around, then maybe nothing’s wrong with David. If there is, however, David supposes he wants Trexel to be the first to know now that they’re supposedly working together.

A few more clangs on the metal as they work their way up. David risks a look up and sees that by his estimation they’ll be back in the main vents in a few minutes. Maybe this is his chance. Facing away from Trexel and being unable to see the man’s face makes him feel more confident. Then again, if it shocks Trexel, he’ll forget himself and slip and they’ll both become skeletons together. David shudders at the thought and then pauses as he feels Trexel tense up.

“David, is something the matter?” Trexel asks, and… Trexel’s voice doesn’t get soft, not really, but there’s palpable concern in it. David smiles to himself.  
“No, just… Just thinking.”  
“Stick to what you’re good at, David. Leave the thinking to me. I’ll be the brains, you be the brawn.” 

Ah, Trexel’s niche of being almost comforting in very specific circumstances. 

Still though, it was what David needed to hear. He moves his hip to take a step forward and this time Trexel is the one following. They climb the rest of the way out like that, tumbling out of the chute and into an exhausted pile on the floor of the vents, David flat on his stomach and Trexel splayed out across his back, panting as though he’d run a mile. David lay dormant while he too caught his breath, only bothering to move when Trexel got off of him and leaned back against the wall.

David got up, body cracking like a glowstick from having the full weight of Trexel upon him, and scooted over to sit beside Trexel. Trexel didn’t respond aside from nudging David’s knee with his own affectionately.

David took a deep breath. Trexel seemed content to sit here and rest after the strain they just put themselves through. He listened closely for any noise, any sign of life beside Trexel’s wheezing breaths, and found nothing. This was the moment.

“Trexel,” they began, seeing Trexel’s head whip round out the corner of their eye. He loved his own name, didn’t he? Maybe he picked it himself. Maybe he’d understand. They balled their fists up and screwed their eyes shut. “I think I’d like my pronouns to be they/them.”

Trexel grunted in acknowledgement. David opened their eyes, their facsimile of a heart beating a mile a minute. 

Trexel wasn’t looking at them anymore. 

His eyebrows were knotted, like he was thinking hard. About what? Was he going to turn them in to be recycled? Was this one step too far?

They opened their mouth to ask for any thoughts he might have, but he interrupted.

“Well, see you around, David.” And with that Trexel began crawling away at alarming speeds. David made as if to follow him, but Trexel knew the vents much better than they did.

They were alone now. They had sort of been alone before, but this felt infinitely worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks went by.

David counted the simulated day cycles, though they hated themselves for it. Why wait for someone who only brought you misery? Wasn’t it a good thing they hadn’t seen Trexel in fourteen days? Why did they perk up any time a customer mentioned ‘That bloody Geistman git’?

Ah yes, customers. 

Once David was done weeping in the vents where Trexel left them, they started crawling in the opposite direction just to see what they’d find. Still overemotional, they were muttering to themselves and... perhaps hitting the floor of the vents just a little too hard. 

In any case, the vents gave way beneath them and they crashed into a dark dingy room, immediately covering their face and pleading not to be recycled. When they were met with nothing but silence they dared to uncover their face and look around. 

This room was completely abandoned. It was tiny. It was safe. 

And, as they ripped the metal boards off of the doorway, they saw it lead to a corridor where low level employees passed by on their way from their pods to their work.

David had an idea. Thus, David’s Place was born. 

A place for people to get breakfast. To talk and laugh. To be safe.

And David was happy. For the first time, they were truly happy. Why did it feel like something was missing? 

They sighed and turned the page of their accounts, sitting alone in the empty cafe. They were hours into Stellar Firma’s simulated night cycle, but unlike their customers they didn’t have anywhere to go back to. They slept in the kitchen cupboards to avoid detection. It was cramped and uncomfortable, so they avoided it until they were too exhausted to focus on anything.

As they chewed on the end of their Stellar Firma branded pen, they heard a metallic thudding noise above them. It was distant at first but rapidly growing closer. Remembering that they were technically a fugitive, David ducked under the desk, not yet ready for a confrontation with Hartro and an eventual… footing.

They curled up and watched as asbestos from the ceiling fell down to the floor, the thudding growing ever closer and then…

And then it stopped. 

David dared to breathe out, hoping they had accidentally slipped some fermented slurry into the muffins of the day, and that this was all a hallucination. That hope fled quickly when something fell through the ceiling and onto their desk with a familiar scream. They stayed where they were, wondering if it was common on Stellar Firma for small businesses to be robbed. Although they had full confidence in their ability to snap this citizen-employee’s spine like a glowstick, they’d still like the element of surprise on their side. The person coughed and stood up, standing with their legs blocking David’s view of the room. And then they spoke.

“David? David, I know you’re here! David 7, I need to talk to you!” 

For Board’s sake. It was Trexel, and if he didn’t shut up they’d definitely be caught. They punched the back of Trexel’s knee, causing him to shriek and jump into a rather ineffective looking fighting stance, before he actually looked under the desk and calmed down. 

“Ah, there you are! What are you doing under there? Are you hibernating? During work hours, David, I- You know, you’ve never been a devout professional, but this is ridiculous. Hibernate in your own time, you pervert!”

It was good to know absence did not, in fact, make the heart grow fonder. Trexel was still annoying. Although… David peered at Trexel, crawling out from under the desk to get a closer look. He wasn’t swaying as he stood like he usually did. He wasn’t even twitching with thinly veiled rage. He looked… He actually looked a tad anxious for once. Unsure of himself. Though it didn’t stop him from sighing irritably and opening his mouth to once again be obnoxious.

“David, are you going to talk at any point during this discussion?”  
“If you’d let me get a word in.” And, wow, David hadn’t meant for their tone to be quite so sharp, but in their defense Trexel had disappeared without a trace for fourteen entire days. They had every right to be angry. Didn’t they?

Trexel barked out a small laugh and viciously attacked David with a hug. David felt the air being squeezed out of their… whatever passed for lungs inside a clone. David wriggled violently. “Trexel, get off!”  
“Ow! David, I am trying to love you, stop- That was my eye!” Trexel dropped them and hissed in half-pain and half-anger “Board damn it, what’s the matter with you?!”  
“The matter with me? What’s the matter with you? Where have you been? And-And why didn’t you- … Where did you go, Trexel?”  
They started off yelling and slowly lost their confidence. Trexel blinked at them in confusion, like he didn’t even know what he’d done wrong. He never did, did he? Did that make it better or worse? David shook their head and stared Trexel down, silently demanding an answer.

“I went back to my pod, David. I needed some supplies.”

David’s bottom left eye twitched. “Oh. So you are completely stupid, then?”  
“Hey, now-”  
“Don’t hey now me! Trexel, what part of ‘fugitives’ aren’t you getting?! If they find us, they will-” David paused as Trexel ducked his head, looking properly chided. They sighed and continued, in a somewhat calmer voice. “They will kill us, Trexel. What could’ve possibly been so important that you had to risk everything for it?”

Trexel didn’t answer. He dug through his pockets, frantically looking for something, and made a small triumphant “Aha!” noise when he eventually found the right pocket. He then ducked his head again and held out the precious item. David looked down.

It was a small circle with four stripes on it; Yellow, white, purple, black. It was glittery and the stripes weren’t exactly even, but it was still recognisably patterned. David tilted their head. “I… what is it? Exactly?”

Trexel flipped the circle over with his thumb, showing off the metal back with a horizontal pin. “It’s like a… A little badge. So you can pin it to your onesie and-and… And wear it? If you wanted to, of course. Don’t have to. I don’t care.”

Trexel’s voice cracked on the last sentence. David was too engrossed in the badge to comment on it. They reached out hesitantly, giving Trexel ample time to snatch his hand away as he often did. Trexel held his ground, tilting his head up a little as if to give David permission. They took the badge from him and spun it round, watching the glitter move. 

“No, but… what is it? What do the colours mean? Are these-” Their eyes went wide, looking around conspiratorially “-are these shrimp colours?”  
“No! I mean… I don’t know. I’m not one to assume the gender of shrimps, David!”  
David squinted at him in exhaustion. Trexel blinked. “Ah. The colours mean… Well, again, not the kind of guy who assumes, David, but- based on what you… Ah. Based on what you said a few weeks ago, it seems you could be nonbinary. And so I made you this little pin with-with you know, glitter and the colours of the nonbinary pride flag, because I just thought… I don’t know. I just thought maybe you’d feel a little less alone.”  
David was the one to blink this time. “You made…? Wait, less alone?”

Trexel shrugged and gestured to a badge on his own shiny gold onesie. The badge had stripes just like David’s, only there were five; Blue, pink, white, pink, blue.

David let a small smile play on their face. “And what does that mean?”  
“Transgender. When the doctor cocks it up and assigns you, let’s say, a mantis shrimp- And then you jump up, David, and you slap that doctor in the face and you go ‘no! No, you stupid quack! I’m a Star Marlin! Board damn you, I am a Star Marlin!’” Trexel’s voice went hoarse from screaming. He cleared his throat. “Apparently that’s what I am. Who knew?” 

Trexel brought a muffin up to his mouth and made obscene noises as he took a large bite. David huffed out a small laugh, not even bothering to scold him. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I get it. Well… Thank you, Trexel. I-I do wish you hadn’t just scuttled off and left me, but… Thank you.”

Trexel let out a snort of derision. “David, have you any idea how difficult it was for me to make two entire badges whilst still being a fugitive and thus banned from all the facilities? I had to break into many places and steal many things. So yes, you better be pretty damn grateful, because I made many enemies.”  
“Yeah, what else is new?” David muttered, though there was no real animosity to it. 

They were still smiling as they looked down and pinned the badge to their collar. Perfect.

Looking up they saw a small look of pride on Trexel’s face, before he whipped his head around and cleared his throat in an attempt at being normal. He still had a half eaten muffin in his hand. David got a wicked idea.

“Soooo, Trexel… I still have quite a few day-old slurry muffins left.”  
Trexel’s eyes lit up. “And? Can I have a tray to take away to my vent nest and eat while crying?”  
“A- No. No, that’s- No, I had… quite a different idea.” They let out a small laugh, Trexel frowning at the sound. He never liked it when they knew something he didn’t. Maybe that was why he was constantly grumpy around them.

They picked up a muffin of their own, bent their arm back, and hurled it right at him. 

It hit Trexel right in the face. He sputtered and wiped his face, going red with anger before seeing the playful look on David’s face. His face softened, and he bared his sharp teeth in a way that could’ve charitably been called a smile. He threw the remainder of his muffin at David, landing it on their shoulder and making them squawk as bits of slurry found a way down the back of their neck. 

The two locked eyes and then dove for the tray of muffins, both laughing hysterically as they pelted the muffins at each other, making absolute messes of both of their uniforms. The fight could’ve only lasted a few minutes, but by the end of it they still both ended up in a pile on the floor, not so different from their situation a few weeks before. Through heavy breaths they still laughed, Trexel clapping David on the shoulder in a manner that was almost painful, and for once David truly felt like everything was going to be okay from here on out.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is, funnily enough, from the song "They / Them / Theirs" by Worriers, which is a massive David song.
> 
> Also I know Trexel seems intolerant at some points in this fic, but I swear he just kinda gets an idea in his head and hyperfixates on it and just kinda ups and leaves to go do the thing. He actually loves David very much (platonically, obvs) and desperately wants to show them he accepts them.
> 
> Anyway! If you get as emo about these two (and Stellar Firma in general) as I do, come join me on Twitter @spacemanrhys !


End file.
